Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
You want further proof that God hates me? Okay. We're on the way to the ER. A homeless man stabbed me at the gas station.
Ugh hungover at a laundromat is a terrible feeling. For some reason I keep getting sucked into staring at the clothes spinning around and around and it makes me want to profusely projectile vomit everywhere
Randomize
