What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
Boobs are out for the taking
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
I didn't know what to say so I just sent him a chicken emoji
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize
