so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
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