plz talk dirty to me
He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
How has he not realized you're pregnant?
Spanx.
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
Randomize
