I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
Be still, my beating vagina.
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
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