He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
Do you have feelings for this penis?
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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