We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize
