eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
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