one might say we're banned from that church
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
Randomize
