OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
I thought the fact that I took home a 42 year old with 3 kids would excuse my tardiness this morning because my boss is also 42 and has 3 kids. Boy was I wrong.
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
Randomize
