its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
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