but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
My dermatologist just asked me, "what happened here?" referring to the bruising on my nipples. I told her I walked into a door. Thanks for that awkward moment.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
I get sad thinking about all the sex I’m missing out on because of the virus
I instituted “quarantine and chill” months ago. It’s not like penises go soft just because they’re working at home.
Randomize