Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
My bar tender texts me around 5ish and ask what I feel like, so it's ready for me when I get home. All star service.
Dude. You are the LAST person that should live above a bar.
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
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