are you wasted or are you getting laid?
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wow
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
Randomize
