i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
Sorry about the voicemail last night, people in hostel thought getting the clap from cheating on me wasn't enough and you hearing a 6 foot 5 Swedish dude bang the shit out of me was needed.
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
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