I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know I love you more than life itself, but love has its limits. And so help me god, if you bail on me, I will fucking watch the last Game of Thrones episode without you.
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
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