Dual....:-)
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
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