I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
Randomize
