He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
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