What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
Randomize
