laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
Randomize
