you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
i think the title to my autobiography shall be, "a bottle of vodka and various pieces of meat"
and this is why you're my favorite gay friend.
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Randomize
