nut hugger
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
Her roommate texted her and told her that her cat died. Now she's double-fisting bottles of wine while howling and wailing her dead cat's name. Not how I pictured this booty call.
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
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