I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
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