if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
Randomize
