Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
I just found a live peacock hanging out behind the bar. I coerced it into my car and now I have a peacock bro that lives with me.
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
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