there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
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