I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
Randomize
