This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
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