and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Randomize
