her vagina looked like bernie madoff
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
I am watching the most amazing drunk person ever. Literally such a trooper that you can put anything in front of him he'll drink it. His latest reason for taking another shot was: well whatever. I'm never gonna get married anyway.
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize
