well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
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