We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
Randomize
