Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
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