I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
New low. Found an ant nibbling on my last xanax. Flicked it away and popped it in my mouth anyways.
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
Randomize
