She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
This will be the 3rd time you have blacked out and lost your phone only to have some kind stranger find it, charge it, call me, then mail it back to you. Your luck amazes me...
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
Randomize
