the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
Legitimately sent a work email with "Hey, you kids, get off my lawn" as the subject line.
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
Randomize
