You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
You caught me at a bad time. I'm stoned enough that I'm ready to sleep but also not stoned enough that I wanna smoke again but also stoned enough to not wanna drive anywhere
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
Randomize
