maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
Dear vodka that I hid in a water bottle in the backseat of Blairs car, I'm sorry that she gave you away to a man on side of the road with an over heated engine. I'm sure the car doesn't appreciate you as much as I would have.
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
Randomize
