70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
Randomize