Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
this will be a night to untag.
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
Randomize
