honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
All of my Tinder matches have neck tattoos. It's like God wants me to go to jail again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
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