All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
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