My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Rubbed one out while on hold to buy tickets to Disneyland. Feel simultaneously like a freak and strangely productive.
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
my brother has friends over and I can hear one of them screaming from the basement "BREATHE. FILL YOUR LUNGS. LIVE YOUR LIFE." and it sounds like he's doing some motivational speaking down there but that's actually just how he encourages ppl to take bong hits
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
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