Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (818): View more from California

  Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (818): Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume? http://tfl.nu/76jw
  Replies (18) Good night (3713) Bad night (865)
• Favorite

  (337): View more from Louisiana

  They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (337): They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out. http://tfl.nu/7k9a
  Replies (11) Good night (5446) Bad night (702)
• Favorite

  (734): View more from Michigan

  SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (734): SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO! http://tfl.nu/43s5
  Replies (100) Good night (1055) Bad night (22471)
• Favorite

  (732): View more from New Jersey

  On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (732): On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy http://tfl.nu/zv53
  Replies (57) Good night (5660) Bad night (824)
• Favorite

  (401): View more from Rhode Island

  The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (401): The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer http://tfl.nu/75f3
  Replies (11) Good night (3407) Bad night (1232)
• Favorite

  (641): View more from Iowa

  Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (641): Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions? http://tfl.nu/f9wf
  Replies (10) Good night (2222) Bad night (1189)
• Favorite

  (512): View more from Texas

  If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (512): If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok. http://tfl.nu/1awh
  Replies (10) Good night (2531) Bad night (712)
• Favorite

  (260): View more from Indiana

  Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (260): Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office. http://tfl.nu/3hhh
  Replies (4) Good night (1532) Bad night (621)
• Favorite

  (423): View more from Tennessee

  animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful

  (1-423): View more from Tennessee

  breakfast of champions

  (423): View more from Tennessee

  breakfast of stoners

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (423): animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful (1-423): breakfast of champions (423): breakfast of stoners http://tfl.nu/cslr
  Replies (6) Good night (1296) Bad night (568)
• Favorite

  (410): View more from Maryland

  I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (410): I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid. http://tfl.nu/ggrs
  Replies (4) Good night (1254) Bad night (413)
• Favorite

  (325): View more from Texas

  It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (325): It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch. http://tfl.nu/t9k5
  Replies (1) Good night (488) Bad night (1154)
• Favorite

  (440): View more from Ohio

  It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (440): It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina http://tfl.nu/iyhy
  Replies (7) Good night (608) Bad night (1325)
• Favorite

  (267): View more from Pennsylvania

  I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (267): I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug http://tfl.nu/3mhw
  Replies (2) Good night (705) Bad night (219)
• Favorite

  (254): View more from Texas

  GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT

  (254): View more from Texas

  ^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (254): GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT (254): ^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out. http://tfl.nu/79e1
  Replies (0) Good night (623) Bad night (279)
• Favorite

  (908): View more from New Jersey

  I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (908): I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it. http://tfl.nu/8q70
  Replies (1) Good night (712) Bad night (227)

Randomize