Texts From Last Night

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  (503): View more from Oregon

  Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.

  (360): View more from Washington

  im coming over.

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  (503): Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call. (360): im coming over. http://tfl.nu/x6qr
  Replies (8) Good night (3727) Bad night (583)
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  (864): View more from South Carolina

  U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"

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  (864): U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating" http://tfl.nu/kntp
  Replies (14) Good night (5301) Bad night (1089)
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  (713): View more from Texas

  when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed

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  (713): when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed http://tfl.nu/1ijl
  Replies (13) Good night (5264) Bad night (1407)
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  (208): View more from Idaho

  My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.

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  (208): My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done. http://tfl.nu/2aew
  Replies (23) Good night (4222) Bad night (1994)
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  (432): View more from Texas

  Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.

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  (432): Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know. http://tfl.nu/dusl
  Replies (5) Good night (1379) Bad night (2877)
• Favorite

  (705): View more from Ontario

  Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.

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  (705): Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences. http://tfl.nu/318s
  Replies (2) Good night (2307) Bad night (840)
• Favorite

  (414): View more from Wisconsin

  Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.

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  (414): Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things. http://tfl.nu/uvud
  Replies (4) Good night (3284) Bad night (1393)
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  (941): View more from Florida

  I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.

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  (941): I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged. http://tfl.nu/0scq
  Replies (2) Good night (1915) Bad night (709)
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  (408): View more from California

  dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out

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  (408): dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out http://tfl.nu/y59w
  Replies (4) Good night (595) Bad night (1375)
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  (902): View more from Pr Edwrd Is, Nva Sctia

  They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat

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  (902): They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat http://tfl.nu/tmda
  Replies (3) Good night (838) Bad night (496)
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  (336): View more from North Carolina

  Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me

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  (336): Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me http://tfl.nu/v2u1
  Replies (10) Good night (1008) Bad night (457)
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  (908): View more from New Jersey

  Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.

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  (908): Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother. http://tfl.nu/ysht
  Replies (1) Good night (733) Bad night (313)
• Favorite

  (407): View more from Florida

  I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.

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  (407): I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again. http://tfl.nu/tkx0
  Replies (2) Good night (335) Bad night (578)
• Favorite

  (814): View more from Pennsylvania

  I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College

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  (814): I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College http://tfl.nu/y7mj
  Replies (2) Good night (792) Bad night (284)
• Favorite

  (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.

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  (717): There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option. http://tfl.nu/cutr
  Replies (10) Good night (1128) Bad night (371)

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