Texts From Last Night

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  (484): View more from Pennsylvania

  you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.

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  (484): you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it. http://tfl.nu/od01
  Replies (3) Good night (1399) Bad night (750)
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  (702): View more from Nevada

  Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter

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  (702): Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter http://tfl.nu/pr4p
  Replies (22) Good night (4438) Bad night (1314)
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  (604): View more from British Columbia

  Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.

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  (604): Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap. http://tfl.nu/0qce
  Replies (6) Good night (815) Bad night (4011)
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  (630): View more from Illinois

  Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..

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  (630): Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.. http://tfl.nu/pq67
  Replies (7) Good night (4097) Bad night (1792)
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  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.

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  (617): Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way. http://tfl.nu/5f04
  Replies (8) Good night (5008) Bad night (1180)
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  (303): View more from Colorado

  you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.

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  (303): you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug. http://tfl.nu/8hzl
  Replies (5) Good night (3116) Bad night (1167)
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  (506): View more from New Brunswick

  I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.

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  (506): I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number. http://tfl.nu/oux0
  Replies (11) Good night (6151) Bad night (962)
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  (705): View more from Ontario

  I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.

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  (705): I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon. http://tfl.nu/humv
  Replies (10) Good night (4254) Bad night (963)
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  (606): View more from Kentucky

  Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.

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  (606): Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick. http://tfl.nu/0x12
  Replies (8) Good night (748) Bad night (2298)
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  (615): View more from Tennessee

  Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?

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  (615): Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night? http://tfl.nu/hddi
  Replies (11) Good night (2032) Bad night (595)
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  (607): View more from New York

  I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth

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  (607): I guess I fell on the bar and kept trying to get back in telling the bouncer that I left my teeth at the bar. Woke up this morning with chipped tooth http://tfl.nu/5ove
  Replies (1) Good night (504) Bad night (1169)
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  (630): View more from Illinois

  Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.

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  (630): Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago. http://tfl.nu/3f70
  Replies (5) Good night (3328) Bad night (758)
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  (360): View more from Washington

  I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.

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  (360): I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been. http://tfl.nu/46nz
  Replies (3) Good night (877) Bad night (563)
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  (505): View more from New Mexico

  Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.

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  (505): Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who. http://tfl.nu/ct81
  Replies (2) Good night (424) Bad night (791)
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  (205): View more from Alabama

  You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.

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  (205): You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that. http://tfl.nu/q1q5
  Replies (5) Good night (187) Bad night (570)

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