Texts From Last Night

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  (908): View more from New Jersey

  the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.

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  (908): the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime. http://tfl.nu/3xvq
  Replies (22) Good night (2787) Bad night (820)
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  (203): View more from Connecticut

  it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up

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  (203): it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up http://tfl.nu/co6p
  Replies (64) Good night (689) Bad night (3622)
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  (251): View more from Alabama

  but she was nice to me.

  (256): View more from Alabama

  She was a fuckin STRIPPER.

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  (251): but she was nice to me. (256): She was a fuckin STRIPPER. http://tfl.nu/n11b
  Replies (25) Good night (2580) Bad night (3828)
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  (361): View more from Texas

  Did i throw a brick at someone last night?

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  (361): Did i throw a brick at someone last night? http://tfl.nu/tk7m
  Replies (15) Good night (5819) Bad night (1472)
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  (705): View more from Ontario

  I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.

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  (705): I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless. http://tfl.nu/v2dr
  Replies (36) Good night (4576) Bad night (1314)
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  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.

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  (617): i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar. http://tfl.nu/1t99
  Replies (7) Good night (2912) Bad night (972)
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  (203): View more from Connecticut

  Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.

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  (203): Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka. http://tfl.nu/23cb
  Replies (5) Good night (1866) Bad night (841)
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  (715): View more from Wisconsin

  Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.

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  (715): Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me. http://tfl.nu/2k2c
  Replies (11) Good night (2556) Bad night (826)
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  (570): View more from Pennsylvania

  If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.

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  (570): If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes. http://tfl.nu/for0
  Replies (8) Good night (1924) Bad night (561)
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  (954): View more from Florida

  threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.

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  (954): threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start. http://tfl.nu/r0t4
  Replies (5) Good night (931) Bad night (488)
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  (336): View more from North Carolina

  he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.

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  (336): he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever. http://tfl.nu/31ik
  Replies (16) Good night (638) Bad night (2301)
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  (703): View more from Virginia

  Vodka?

  (202): View more from Washington, DC

  Forever.

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  (703): Vodka? (202): Forever. http://tfl.nu/90ug
  Replies (8) Good night (1515) Bad night (607)
• Favorite

  (646): View more from New York

  Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.

  (646): View more from New York

  Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die

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  (646): Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens. (646): Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die http://tfl.nu/6x7r
  Replies (1) Good night (1100) Bad night (492)
• Favorite

  (661): View more from California

  Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.

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  (661): Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic. http://tfl.nu/0y3r
  Replies (5) Good night (1079) Bad night (303)
• Favorite

  (650): View more from California

  I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?

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  (650): I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened? http://tfl.nu/cgg7
  Replies (3) Good night (608) Bad night (352)

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