ADVERTISEMENT

• (772): View more from Florida

  Theres puke in my trash can and spilled beer next to my bed... come get your girlfriend

  Fav 3 1059 1251

  share tweet
  

• (832): View more from Houston, Texas

  We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa

  (281): View more from Texas

  what did you steal

  (832): View more from Houston, Texas

  frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.

  Fav 10 2451 1093

  share tweet
  
ADVERTISEMENT

• (503): View more from Oregon

  You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!

  Fav 9 875 3481

  share tweet
  

• (802): View more from Vermont

  and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?

  (1-802): View more from Vermont

  not the response he usually gets im sure.

  Fav 17 1916 3918

  share tweet
  
• 

  23 Men Confess The Moment They Realized They Wanted A Divorce

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (512): View more from Texas

  I don't think I can fit "I'm sorry for ruining Christmas" on one cake. Better make two.

  Fav 10 1288 3906

  share tweet
  

• (727): View more from Florida

  You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.

  Fav 22 1493 5533

  share tweet
  
ADVERTISEMENT

• (925): View more from California

  At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.

  Fav 9 4473 1676

  share tweet
  

• (607): View more from New York

  he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.

  Fav 3 1047 3080

  share tweet
  

• (270): View more from Kentucky

  The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...

  Fav 8 5795 1905

  share tweet
  
• 

  The 23 Most Inappropriate Things To Happen At A Funeral

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (954): View more from Florida

  Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.

  Fav 12 5451 1261

  share tweet
  

• (954): View more from Florida

  I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"

  Fav 9 3014 1538

  share tweet
  
ADVERTISEMENT

• (705): View more from Ontario

  I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.

  Fav 1 1690 1083

  share tweet
  

• (614): View more from Ohio

  We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.

  Fav 2 1418 554

  share tweet
  

• (416): View more from Toronto

  Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.

  Fav 6 1218 620

  share tweet
  
ADVERTISEMENT

• (301): View more from Maryland

  Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.

  Fav 3 24 67

  share tweet
  

Randomize