SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
I think even the taco bell employees judged me