I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.