I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
and she was petting her beer can
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
Randomize
