I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
Randomize
