I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
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