Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
Verdict: uncircumcised.
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