I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
Randomize