my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Randomize
