Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
Apparently 'check out this motherfucker' is not an appropriate greeting to use in the vicinity of sitting united states senators. Who knew
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize