i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
So yeah, don't be alarmed when you come home after work to find me eating cookie dough out of a margarita glass with a knife and watching The Little Mermaid. It's been one of those days.
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
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