tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
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