so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
Randomize
