Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
I knew you were drunk when you poured scotch on a croissant and ate it.
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
Randomize
