so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
Randomize
