I think I died a long time ago.
Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
Randomize
