his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
Randomize
