I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
Killed two birds with one stone: found my wallet and unclogged the toilet.
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
The dick lei will go down in squad history
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
Randomize
